Life in Lori's Loft

2009-02-22T09:14:00.001-08:00

Well no posts in 2009 what does that say about my little loft? Actually I haven't been very consistent at updating my other blog either. I'm wondering if my "writing" days are coming to an end? I hope not - it's been a great way to record our homeschooling journey and since Noah is just starting I really hope that I continue - especially with the "antics" that he comes up with. Did I tell you about the "Nut up my nose" the other night? Well it turns out Noah has been down with a cold. He hadn't been eating much but Paul came home with a container of assorted nuts and unbeknownst to us he took them to bed with him. We thought he was sleeping when all of a sudden he started crying....like he was really hurt. He was trying to tell me but I couldn't understand a word he was saying....finally Josh figured out he was saying "There is a nut up my nose"!! A nut? I thought it was like a nut (and bolt) since we have "renovation" stuff strewn across the upstairs rooms. But then we realized it was a peanut of sorts. Well Dad managed to get it out with the tweezers thankfully - it was pretty far up there. I think it scared Noah more than hurt him.....what a kid. My favorite part was when I was telling my Mom she said "Josh never would of done anything like that." So true....Josh wouldn't think of it, or if he did he would for sure of asked permission first. Not Noah he just goes ahead and does it and begs forgiveness later. Two different kids, too funny!

Well let's see what other "excitement" have I had?

I'm really enjoying spinning and knitting again. January was a sickness month for me ... on and on it went and I wasn't sleeping through the night which is NOT good for me. Finally I got over everything and have been sleeping again so I feel so much better!

Homeschooling is going really well and I'm already thinking about next year....crazy I know. This high school thing has me stumped though as I feel I know what direction I should be going but "high school" stuff keeps getting presented to me and I'm wondering what God is up to with that. I feel like he wants me to do something but I'm really not sure yet what it is .... that's ok for now I'll wait and I know whatever IT is he'll let me know.

Speaking of God - both Paul and I are getting the message that moving may be in our future. We are not at all sure what that will look like but we are both definately getting the message that we won't be here for the long term anyways. I'm kind of sad about that I actually really love this location....I feel "central" to everything, but maybe that is a bad thing? We'll see what the future holds.

Oh there is a knitting shop for sale but of course that is not really what I want to do ...but it is just so tempting when I know I could do it.

I am starting to get anxious for spring....the winter has been so "mild" I just know when things start melting ....sigh.....

I need some furniture.... not new per say.... I'm hoping something comes my way.

Well coffee is ready so I think I'll have another cup and knit for a bit and then have my shower, run to the store for salad stuff for church supper tonight. Looking forward to our house church today, we have another couple joining us.

Well until next time, thanks for sitting and chatting with me. It does feel good to be back in my loft, if only for a few minutes.

For those of you that follow THIS blog

2008-12-16T14:48:00.001-08:00

I exported and then deleted my old blog that was under my old email address and then imported it under my new email address. There was probably a lot easier way of doing it but hey I got it done!

Anyways I hope to post here more often - I don't get to "my space" as often as I like!

Chat with you all soon, I'm off to do Christmas shopping with hubby - and he's cooking or shall I say he's buying dinner!

What's important!

2008-10-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

Well it has turned out my fall has been anything BUT familiar.

With untimely deaths on both side of our family (something that has never happened on either side before until recently) it has caused us to at times to slip with our footing this fall and let unimportant things slide - only to have revealed how important other things, like friends and family, are to us.

It makes you go into reevaluation mode and you wonder how much of what you do in the day to day is REALLY, I mean REALLY important?

Housework is certainly not important - in fact it only really took me a couple of hours to get everything back on track as far as the house was concerned. So why then do I panic if I don't get that load of laundry in every morning or the floors mopped when there are obviously more important things to do?

Friends are of course important but more important is that they are there for you with prayer and to "fill in" where needed so that you are able to focus on those important things and not the details of other activities that can (believe it or not) be carried out by someone else.

Family also are very important - it's sad how we take that for granted thinking that they will always be there whenever it's "convenient" for us. We certainly need to take the time to spend quality time together and never be "too busy" for family. My priorities certainly need to be realigned in that area.

And what about homeschool? WOW - Busy work - certainly is not - EXCEPT that it does allow for some independence for when you can't be there. TIME - time is important to sit and be with and to teach. And it doesn't take much but it does take undivided, focused and awareness of what I should be spending my time on rather than just "assigning" busy work.

So I'm going to take the time to review and reevaluate some things - will let you know how that goes. For a year that I thought was going to be familiar and "easy" I've learned I need to still be very much "engaged" in my life something I've let slip during the summer and has made it's way into my fall routine. Hopefully these wake up calls will get me back into it what's important.

Familiar Fall

2008-09-08T16:51:00.000-07:00

Well summer is over - and even though it was a gorgeous day today you can still feel the chill in the air, that and we've started back to homeschooling. Holidays are over, they were good. I am thankful we didn't go anywhere as the "rest" seemed to do us all good.

We still have a couple of left over summer projects to finish but our schedule isn't looking too busy so hopefully we will get those done before the snow flies. YUCK snow - I DON'T want to be thinking about that THAT's for sure!!

I do want to get back to spinning and dying - hopefully once we settle more into our new routine I'll get back to that.

I'm feeling very peaceful about everything - I don't remember a fall where I haven't been in a little bit of a panic - this year it just seems everything is either falling into place or there are no items that feel "pressing". I'm thankful for that. I feel like I am enjoying life more - it's slower - there is more room to just observe and participate all at the same time.

Even housework isn't bothering me like it usually does - I'm glad - that's a silly thing to stress over really.

Well I do still need to cook dinner - it was just so nice a quiet in here I thought I would take advantage and update while I can.

I'll be back - hopefully sooner than later - until then.

Summer slowdown!

2008-08-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

So my spirit is beginning to feel the "fall" push, luckily we have a camping trip scheduled for this weekend so I can ward off those feelings for a while longer. Then hubby will be on holidays so again I'm hoping to hang on to that summer spirit a while longer.

It's not that I don't like fall and the start of homeschooling and all that, it just seems busier, more things to organize and the calendar to stay on top of - in other words I have to be "on". Unlike summer where I am more "unplugged", I simply focus on relationships and I keep the other "stuff" (clean, make and organize) simplier.

I understand that life is seasons - we couldn't have that unplugged summer feeling all year long - in fact I can already tell that my family is getting antsy for some "structure". Hubby wants to set some goals, Josh is asking questions (tough questions that require thought and consideration before answering) and Noah is wanting to do more, not just more activity but to learn and discover - they are ready - I am not (ha ha).

So one way that I want to prepare for fall this year is to simplify some of the things that I do so that I can be more "available" to my family in more important ways than the meals and cleaning, etc. So I'm looking at things through a new lens in how I can make this task simplier, if the task is simplier could more people help me complete the task and in doing so accomplish some of my other goals as well.

I'm still thinking on these things and we'll see what comes of it in the meantime I'm going to enjoy the last few weeks of being unplugged, and sit and knit in the sun.

WOW what a WONDERFUL day!

2008-07-14T17:10:00.000-07:00

I had the most restful day today!

It began by waking up late and having a leisurely cup of coffee. My email wasn't working which was frustrating but it does make a gal take some time on the couch instead of in front of the computer.

A nice hot shower with some wonderful "chocolate addiction" homemade soap, followed by very little housework. I did manage to get a load of laundry done and the kitchen cleaned up but other than that....

After sending the boys off upstairs to watch a movie I intended to have some quiet time reading the bible which ended up with me having a looooong afternoon nap.

I was so refreshed after my nap I decided to get some spinning in! It's been a while (ok a few days) and my wheel was beckoning me.

Alas it was time to get something on the table for dinner but I kept it simple with a pasta casserole and a yummy salad with fresh garden lettuce from a friend.

The evening is proving to be a quiet one as well as the boys are all outside working on the go cart, oh here they are maybe it won't be so quiet. Oh well it was a wonderful day anyways.

The boy is now a teen!

2008-05-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

My oldest son turned 13 yesterday.

I admit I was having a hard time with it.

So much so that I had been avoiding making plans to celebrate the momentous occasion. Luckily he hasn't noticed as THE party is set for next weekend instead as most of his friends/family couldn't make it due to his actual birthday being smack dab right in the middle of the first long weekend of the summer. I'm thankful for that as my heart truly wasn't in it to "celebrate" this birthday.

Anyways the actual event, him turning 13 has happened, and I have to say I've managed to work through some of my issues. Yes I know there are still more to come, but this process has helped me in identifying some of those underlying "lies" that need to have the light shine upon them so that we can be and do different. That's what parenting is all about right?

At first I couldn't pin point really what my issue was but after a while I realized, bottom line, it was fear!

Fear of what?

Well that's what I was struggling with and once I decided to take God's advice.....FEAR NOT, I was finally able to articulate some of what it was I was fearful of.

The first thing I realized is I was exemplifying the societal fear that surrounds me.

Society doesn't like teenagers do they? And I didn't even realize how much so. This is built into TV shows we watch, newspaper articles read and what about all the books out there to help you through the "teenage years". Society has LOW expectation of teenagers and even lower expectations of parents "handling" their teenagers!

The trigger for me was when I read this blog http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/01charger/533117/
by the Harris boys.

I think their book sounds intriguing and I'm planning on reading it myself! And I'm planning to eradicate words and actions that exemplify to Josh that we have low expectations of him!

Yes I admit the teenage years are "different" than other developmental stages. I remember that "growing up" was one of the hardest times of my life, or at least I thought so at the time. But we "survive it" and get through it, hopefully for the better, yes for the better. Do we make bad choices, yes but being able to have a choice is what growing up is all about. Learning that the choices we make have consequences and blessings.

Which lead to my second fear -- that "overnight" Josh was going to turn into a the "me" that I was at that age. Yes I shake my head in shame when I think of the things that I was doing and thinking at that age. But the realization that I had is Josh is not me! He is a totally seperate and unique individual, who was also raised differently than me. He has had different influences than me and it doesn't have to be how it was when I was that age. I know that THAT seems like a given but don't we often say when they are young that they are "little me's", which is fine until they hit the teenager years, huh?

And lastly, my greatest fear of all. That I was going to "lose" the precious relationship that I have with my son. A relationship that I have worked (and continue to work) so very hard on!

Lose, in what way? I guess the image I had in my head, and in my heart so it seems, was one of the teenage years "tearing down" whatever had been built up. But what I envision now is the foundation not only has been built it has been set in concrete! The foundation? It's a strong one! So let's "build on that foundation"!

A book that has been placed in my lap is Keeping our Children's Heart by Teri Maxwell. You bet I'll be getting that book and will be in it often!

So that's what I've worked through so far (yes I have more underlying "things" to get through) but I've identified the ones I need to watch for for now and I have wonderful resources to help me through that the most precious being prayer.

At least now my heart is set on celebrate mode and I'm focused on the wonderful things to celebrate instead of the things that were taking me "down".

So let the party begin!

The Desk, The Life!

2008-04-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that your desk/workspace often reflects your life and how it's going?

What kind of desk/workspace do you have?

I have a wooden (unstained) self contained unit that has two doors that I can close to hide all the clutter....hmmm I wonder what that says about my life? Oh and the item is unstained because I was going to stain it when I got it but when my hubby put it together for me and my computer and "stuff" got in there....well needless to say it never got done. Now it's too dirty to stain so I'm going to have to paint it. I am planning on painting it the same colors as my kitchen and it's a high priority spring project for me....if spring ever gets here.

How is your desk/workspace "organized" if it is organized?

I am a visual person and if something needs to be done I need to have a visual reminder, usually a piece of paper or an entry on my outlook calendar or inbox to remind me that something needs to be done. Yes this creates a lot of clutter for me but I know if I didn't have that I would forget to do a lot of "important" things!

In addition to the reminder clutter, things happen to "fall" onto my desk, yes I am mostly allways the culprut - someone gives something to me or I pick something up while cleaning and not knowing where it should go (or being too lazy to put it where it belongs) plop on my desk it goes to deal with it later!

I do have some attempts at organizing my space -- I have 3 wicker baskets (large, med and small) that I try to contain similiar type items. I also have a drawer (mostly where I hide more "things" as well as a cd organizer and a file organizer on the bottom.

What have I noticed about all these attempts at organization....I never look in/at them. I know it's there but I never use the stuff that's in there, it just sits there showing the world that I'm attempting to be organized.

So what does all this have to do with my life?

I think I love clutter -- I think it reminds me that my life is busy and necessary and that somehow I am important. I think I need to be reminded of this daily and I think the clutter is my attempt at reminding others that I am important and busy.

I think the organization items tell me that although I'm "attempting" to be organized that "life" as I know it is not in the organization....life is in the clutter.

Yes it's nice to be organized -- you can find things and things look neat and tidy especially to the outside world but that sounds well ....like not living.

Life happens in the clutter.

But then there comes a point where there is too much clutter isn't there?

I can't find ANYTHING, important things! In addition to feeling needed I feel smothered, I have no time for myself or because of all the paper in front of my computer screen I can't get the solitude and relaxation I need from the reading of my friends blogs and emails.

LIFE has gotten out of control! Mama needs to clean her desk!

I just cleaned off and reorganized my desk yesterday, boy was I in need of that!!

Now I can get back to life again and start adding clutter back to my nice clean desk!

I don't get to my "room" often enough it seems!

2008-04-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

It's been too long since I've been here. Actually that's not true I've popped in occassionaly but didn't have the time or incliniation it seems to write. Hopefully I'll get a few moments this time to take a deep breath, breathe out and be able to put some coherent sentences together.

I've been so content and happy lately, it almost scares me, it's been too --- hmmmm perfect is not the right word as it's far from perfect, but it has been more harmonious yes harmonious seems like the right word.

Part of it I think is hubby and I are taking more time for us, just talking. As simple as that sounds we weren't doing that any more it seems. Part of it was just sitting still when we were both together, usually one or the other of us would get up to do something. Now I know I for one have been making a conscious decision to just sit and be still and wait. And sure enough when I do that we end up discussing great books, or discussing future plans and goals, something that we had let slide a bit in the hecticness of life.

The kids are changing too. Both Josh and Noah are getting older -- they seem less challenging than even just 6 months ago. Joshua has seemed to have moved on from his "forgetful" stage, at least he's a bit better. He also is accomplishing some of his long time goals and is getting more time to pursue some of his interests, he's always happier when I give him time to do so. He is beginning to challenge stuff we say or ask, silly little things that are annoying. Just part of growing up I guess.

Noah is seriously growing before my eyes. Certainly not a baby or toddler any more. Almost not a preschooler! He is SO smart it definately scares me at times, but it's also getting much easier as well. He is very independent and strong willed but he is more mature (as mature as a 4 going on 5 year old can be) so it's easier to let him do it "his way" yet still "guide" him which he is more open to now.

Me? I think I'm more content too just because I've "let go" of a few things that I didn't even know I was holding on to. Stupid things like meal times. Simplier really is easier....why do I have to make everything more work than is necessary? I think part of it is I'm looking for all this appreciativeness and back patting and when I don't get it (mostly because they really don't care what they eat as long as they eat) I get ticked and feel the world owe me what I don't know. Instead I've chosen to focus on the important things. Does it matter that the renovations get done upstairs? No, it's more IMPORTANT that I support my husband in getting all things done around here that keep him so busy, the poor guy seriously has no time for himself. Hmmm maybe HE needs a loft!

The weather probably has made a difference too ....spring is in the air even if the white flakes come back to taunt us once in a while. It's been nice to get outside more and just play and relax. I'm even starting to think about summer plans which always lighten my mood.

So all in all I'm feeling good about things and am looking forward to some time to sit and think and ponder (and knit of course). Maybe that will mean more blog entries here to help me "process" some of those thoughts and see where they take me.

As always thanks for listening. I do love having this spot to go just to blab.

Well my string of uninterrupted moments are up. Until next time.

Spring Cleaning!

2008-03-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

We've been blessed with wonderful warm spring weather of late and although it means it's very wet here on the farm and all the "hidden treasures" under the snow are now visible I still LOVE springtime. I've been starting on my spring cleaning today and meditating on all that it means.

Spring to me feels like you get a second chance. You get to clean off all the dust, cobwebs, smudges and really disgusting stuff that you don't even want to think about or acknowledge. You get to wipe that all clean and start fresh.

You get to go through all those old papers and you wonder what you were keeping them for. Some you toss, some you treasure (like my kids writing and art work), some you keep again....just in case.

You get to open bin upon rubbermaid bin and wonder what you might find in each one. When you open some you immediately know what's in store for you. Some of them are a mish mash of "collectibles" that need to be assigned a category and perhaps be put into another bin or perhaps it's time to toss them.

You get to hand off certain items to someone else because they don't belong to you or are not your responsiblity. Some people take them, others leave them exactly where you laid them and you'll need to remind them once again that they own that "stuff".

After you spend a day of it sorting, cleaning, organizing, throwing out, sweeping and washing you are exhausted but yet refreshed. You swear it will never get that bad again....but it does. But yet you still feel satisfied with the work you've done even knowing you'll need to do it again next spring.

All of the above applys to my heart as well and I can't think of a better time to spring clean my heart than when the light of Jesus is shining on the window of my soul and all I can see is dust and dirt and fingerprint smudges. But all I need to do is get down on my knees and apply a little "windex" to my soul and the grace of my Lord brings me a renewed spirit, a spring cleaning so to speak so that I can again bathe in the warm spring sunshine that is His love.

Yes I will find more "treasures" under next winters snow. Yes I will have more dust, dirt and grime to wash off again next spring. I'll have more paper and bins to go through and yes I'll have stuff that I'll need to pass along to the rightful owners. I'll again be exhausted from all of the effort it takes to go through and decide what is to be done with all this "stuff".

But afterwards.....ahhhh, afterwards, the feeling of satisfaction, accomplishment and renewal of spirit is SO worth it.

Happy Spring Cleaning!

The amazing roles of a woman!

2008-02-26T16:11:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about all the different roles us women have. Honestly how in the world do we do it all?!

Just our own personal lives which involve being a child of God and all that that means.

We are also someone's daughter, possibly a sister, granddaughter, or niece.

We need to make a living in order to feed and clothe ourselves which usually involves a job, career, talent or skill of some sort. Sometimes we must become students in order to accomplish all of this.

We also have our own personal interests and hobbies for which there never seems to be enough time to pursue.

Then we get married and it gets complicated!! Ha ha! What is a wife anyways? I love my husband deeply and want to be his very best friend, his lover, his companion and life journey partner. I want to support him in his passions and interests. I want to know what he thinks, how he thinks and why he thinks I could possibly be capable of being his wife!

There are the mundance chores that are required of us too. They seem so trivial at times but I know that they serve a purpose and that serving is my purpose.

When the kids come along we become mothers! Oh my gosh, if I was full of pride before at how I've held everything together, I am truly humbled now. And that God believes I could contribute anything to these precious beings is beyond me!

Some of us also choose to add the teacher role to our lives, again a humbling and sometimes exsasperating experience!

I think there are times when God is looking upon me with the bar of parenthood in his hand and he is ever so slightly (although it doesn't seem so at the time) raising it just a smidgen just to watch what I will do. Sometimes he smiles.....often he just shakes his head.

And then another role is added to our lives that help us want to achieve even higher accomplishments in all of the above roles. That role is of a friend.

My friends, my true friends, cry with me, laugh with me, spur me on to do better. They sympathize with me but never allow me to wallow too long in the muckiness of life. They celebrate with me. They hug me. They tell me when I've screwed up and when I've done well. My true friends give of themselves unconditionally and expect the same from me, for which I am truly grateful.

Yes we have many roles, all of them important.

All of them require time, effort, patience, love, passion, organization and our utmost attention.

It's through these roles that we feel alive, imporant, needed, loved and most of all a woman and all that that entails.

We are amazing.....truly!

My new (another) blog.

2008-02-19T09:34:00.000-08:00

So why did I create another blog?

I have my homeschooling blog and I love it! I love posting what we do in our day to day journey of homeschooling and life in general. I love that my family can read it and know what we are up to in an instant and at their leisure. But obviously I felt something was missing but what?

Well one thing that I don't include on my other blog is "me" stuff. In that I mean I would mention that I was going to sit and knit but I never included what I was working on or what I was learning. I would mention housework ....endlessly it seems, but I would never mention what it means to me to serve my family and yet at the same time making sure my boys have some life skills and training them to be good husbands and what all that entails. In other words I didn't "reveal" or talk about my "personal" aspects of my life and I think that's what I have found to be missing....for me.

So I've decided to keep THIS blog personal, private (I will share with a few good friends) but really this blog is .....just for me!

I've really seen the advantages for me of blogging our homeschooling journey, I find it helps me "process" our days and keeps me focused on the things that I think are important. So I'm hoping this "journal" of sorts will help me in the personal side of my life.

I also want to have a "space" to put things that I want to research and tend to forget about. So it will be a "storage" place as well.

I also don't want to forget to celebrate as well. Celebrate what? Celebrate me!! Somedays I feel so lost in the myraid of it all that I forget that I am unique, I am contributing, I am talented and I want to celebrate that more, for me and for others.

Well this has turned out to be a pretty productive post, honestly I wasn't sure what I was going to say or how I was going to say it, but it seems to have taken a life of it's own this blog. Perfect, THAT is exactly what I wanted.

Thanks for listening.